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The beginning of a new year prompts lots of people to make resolutions of changes they would like to see in their lives. I do that in August. It’s the start of my personal new year and since I’m the only one who knows of these resolutions, it takes much of the stress away!
This is the time that I look at where I am, where I want to be and try to find a spiritual or mental pathway and action plan to get me there.
Where am I? I’m in a rut and you know the only difference between a rut and a grave is a few feet. My birthday is in just a few days. Two weeks ago I started making a list of the things I like to do, a very hard task for me! I’m certainly not a saint and have moments where I’m self-centered, but for the most part I put other’s wants and needs before mine so much so that I really don’t know what I like to do! I like to write. I like to take pictures. I think I’d like to stargaze. I need to ride my bike.
Where do I want to be? I want to be writing. I want to have one book under my belt and well on the way to my second. I want to be taking pictures or staring at the stars or have another hobby or two. I want to be having fun in my kitchen, not just trudging through dinner preparations. I want to be a freelance copy editor. I want to be the best me I can be.
How do I get there? Write, then write some more. I bought a new camera just before my granddaughter was born, a Canon EOS Rebel T-3. She's 7. I need to learn how to use it. There’s a telescope in my closet still in the box. In my defense, I just bought it at a deep discount during Amazon Prime Days, but I still need to take it out of the box and put it to use....or at least put it together. I should replant my herb garden and jazz up the dinner menus every now and then. I’m now a certified copy editor – I need to find writers who will let me mark up their pages with a red pen!
As for the best me…I'm not sure how to get there. My sister, my best friend, died just five months ago. Sometimes it feels like yesterday, sometimes forever. I am neck-deep in grief. This will be my first birthday without her. Life will never be the same but there will be a new normal. I will never be the same without her, but I will be a new me.
Maybe a better me.
Maybe the best me.
